So an Elf and a Dwarf walk into a Tavern...

[Drasanil]

It was a night like any other in the Raphian Refuge, the usual sounds of merry making resounded through out, the stench of ale hung about the room like a glorious mind numbing nimbus, and the sweet odor of tabacco from the many lite pipes seemed to keep even the most drunken of men awake...

But all was not quite as it should be, in the far left corner of the inn a loud group of drunken men staggered about in semi-coherent circle singing the odd sea chanty and yelling out the occasional cheer or jeer, but by far the most common theme was a loud booming; [glow=red,2,300]"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"[/glow]

[OOC: *waits for Grumbaki*]

[Grumbaki]

Sven was walking down towards the tavern when he started to notice that people were staring at him. He turned and looked at one of them, a woman who was dressed like a maid.

"What the bloody fook are ye lookin' at, lassy?"

"Eh...are you...are you an escaped criminal?"

"What did ye say?!"

She cringed and everyone esle took a step back to distance themselves from the scene.

"It's just that you are wearing broken manacles! Please don't hurt me..."

She started to cry. Sven looked at his wrists and ankles and realized that she was right. With a shrug he took each chain and ripped them off, one by one. Once done he simply walked away, whisling a bawdy tune to himself.

Sven reached the tavern and entered it. A few people turned to look at him, recognizing him from before. Most people though were gathered around the left corner. A loud group of drunken men staggered about in semi-coherent circle singing the odd sea chanty and yelling out the occasional cheer or jeer, but by far the most common theme was a loud booming; "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" Sven pushed his way through the crowd and his jaw dropped...

[Drasanil]

Just as Sven finaly pushed aside the last drunken sailors a loud moan not unlike that of a dying cow resounded through out the inn catching the attention of quite a few patrons. After a second it was obvious from where it had come as the largest and by far ugliest of the men, the one who was sitting down at the table, dropped his tankard and toppled crashing into the ground.... And lo and behold the sight which greeted the dwarf next, sitting opposite to Big Guss who was now taking a nap on the floor was an elf! Lazzily he sat back in his chair as his tankard swayed ever so slightly in his hand obviously he was drunk, but didn't exactly seem worse for were, as he spotted the dwarf he let a faint smile pass...

[Grumbaki]

Sven stared at the elf, having never seen one before. He said to no one in particular "Brognar always said that elflings couldnae drink...now I be confused." A few of the patrons started to laugh, thinking that the dwarf was making a joke. They were wrong.

[Drasanil]

[glow=darkblue,2,300]"Bloody fook! you're even dimmer than me! Course I can drink!"[/glow] Anruil blurted out in norse being to drunk to distinguish it from old worlder, he obviously wasn't the brightest of elves and being drunk didn't exactly make things better. [glow=darkblue,2,300]"By Mathlaan's crown that Brognar better be a good drinker, to go about insulting me like that!"[/glow] he continued this time in old worlder, he guessed from the patron's reaction to the other human tongue he was speaking the wrong one, though he could hardly notice a difference between them while sobber.

[Grumbaki]

Sven let out a huge laugh and used the passed out man as a stepping block to pull himself onto the chair. He picked up the man's mug and threw it back.

"Ach! Jus' had meself two mug's o' bugman's finest a few hours ago...feels like I'm drinking goat's piss. Alright elfling, lets see if ye can beat ole' Sven then, aye? Bartender! I'll match what he's drunk, then we'll go from there. Ye on, elfling?"

The bartender shouted back. "Last time you were here you didn't pay your tab! You'd best pay this time?"

Heort, the bouncer yelled back at him over the din "He didn't pay last time 'cause the watch dragged him away, remember?"

The bartender muttered something under his breath and went to get the drinks.

Sven smiled at the elf. "Ach! And while we're at it, lets make this interesting. Last time I was here I drank up a storm me did. Ye lose, ye pay me tab. I lose, I pay for this round o' drinks."

[Drasanil]

Anruil obviously lacking any form of common sense grinned, having forgotten that dwarves were proficient drinkers he assumed to make some easy coin... [glow=darkblue,2,300]"Fine then, you're on Sven..."[/glow] the elf replied with a glint in his eyes, he thought himself quite bright at the time, how could something so small drink more than him if that big ugly sailor couldn't?

[Grumbaki]

Sven grinned happily. He looked over his shoulder and realised that the couldn't see past the press of bodies surrounding them. Not knowing when the ale would come he decided to simply pass the time. In norse he started singing the infamous drinking song She was only a halfling's daughter. By the time he was on the second verse Anruil joined him in the singing as well as a few of the more drunken members of their audiance. Soon the drinks arrived. The crowd parted to let her through and she placed six pints of ale on the table and quickly walked away. Sven picked up the first pint, raised it up in a salute to the elf and downed it. Sven joined Anruil in singing the refrain "...and then came the ogre..." before downing his second. Sven realised that Anruil really didn't know the song and was making it up as he went along, but that didn't matter; any norseman (or dwarf) who would make up a song was one who was respected. Pleased with this turn of events this continued. When he finished his last pint he raised it up and sung the last verse ..."she was only a halfling's dauuuughter!" With that he slammed his mug on the table and laughed out loud. This was followed by a few men applauding, though many more muttered jokes about either Sven or Anruil's mothers; few were specific about who's. The din was loud enough though that they couldn't be heard.

"Bartender! More ale, we've got a drinking contest to finish!"

[Drasanil]

Anruil was impressed as he watched the dwarf chug down the ale, he had assumed the tiny thing would have went out by it's fourth mug since it took six to bring down big Guss, then about halfway through the song it him, he remembered dwarves could drink better than him after all! Sure he had already out drunk a beardling but that was hardly impressive, since he couldn't remember if it was indeed a beardling or a halfling with beard or maybe one of those tiny dwarves. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have accepted the challenge but he forgot about the whole thing two seconds later. [glow=darkblue,2,300]"And make it quick I'm sobering up here... and shut up up 'bout me mom ya dung eatin' orc groppers!"[/glow] the elf shouted out as he realised the whole 2 minutes between the next round of drinks was taking longer than he expected.

[Grumbaki]

The beer came and the drinking began in earnest. Six pints were put in front of each contestant. Sven raised the first to his lips and downed it. He let out a belch and went for his next one. He started to chug it down, though some spilled out and onto his beard. He shook his head vigorously to shake away the haze setting on his mind. He raised the third to his lips and threw it back. He leaned his head back to let it all in...and he fell right off his chair. The room erupted in laugher. Sven pulled himself back up and climbed back onto the chair, Anruil had drunk his and it was now his turn again. Sven raised the mug up and this time drank it much more carefully. Sven reached for the next one when one of the drunken revelers said far too loudly

"Look how drunk the two freaks are. I'd bet my house that the dwarf ends up taking it in the arse!"

With that the entire room broke out into laughter. Sven's already face turned a brighter shade and with a roar he leapt off the chair and into the man. The room suddenly saw that with the correct application of force legs can bend the other way! The already drunken crowd suddenly turned violent...

[Drasanil]

Anruil looked at the six pints of beer before him and grinned with glee, having once again forgotten that dwarves could drink he thought he was well on his way to drinking himself stupid(er) at the expense of his new best 'friend' Sven.

He watched on as Sven tanked down his pint, in return he raised his first mug high in salute though his unsteady hands caused him to spill a bit on his head much to the enjoyment of the drunken patrons, then he was off and chugged down the first beer in a matter of seconds, quickly tossing the empty tankard behind him and hiting the poor serving wench in the head causing her to collapse on the floor.

"Look how drunk the two freaks are. I'd bet my house that the dwarf ends up taking it in the arse!" screamed out one of the drunks in the crowd just as Anruil was half way through his forth mug, causing him to spit out what little beer was left in his mouth and burst out in idiotic laughter along with the rest of the group... Untill he realised that he was being insulted too!

As Sven jumped out of his seat to attack the nearest drunk, the elf not about to waste a free beer sloppily drank it down spilling a good part of it on himself, before tossing the tankard into the packed crowd. In a surpisingly nimble fashion Anruil lept from his chair and grabbed it as he charged into the fray... The sound of breaking wood could be heard as the drunken elf slammed the chair onto one of the men who was getting ready to stab Sven in the back.
[glow=darkblue,2,300]"Don't ya g-o getin' yerself killeded, you still gots ta pay the tab fer loosin!"[/glow]

[Grumbaki]

Sven Vs 4 Drunks

Special Rules; Drunk! Every one suffers a -10 to hit and gets a +1T bonus.

Round 1:
Sven: Hits (25) Hit (33)
Human 1: Critical 9-right arm.
Human 2: 5 wounds
Humans: Miss (66) Miss (55) Miss (60)

Round 2:
Sven: Miss (42) Hit (14)
Human 2: Critical 15-left arm
Humans: Miss (41) Hit (15)
Sven: 1 wound
Human 3 fear test: Passed (07)
Human 4 fear test: Passed (16)

Round 3:
Sven: Hit (26) Hit (30)
Human 3: Critical 12-body
Human 4: Critical 15-head

Overall: 3 rounds. 2 human incapactiated, 2 dead

[Drasanil]

Anruil Vs 3 Drunks

Special Rules; Drunk! Every one suffers a -10 to hit and gets a +1T bonus.

Round I
Anruil, using chair legs(clubs); 3 attacks, 2 hits, both at the body, 6+1+3-4= 6D and 4+1+3-4=4D, first drunk at neg 4 wounds... 44 on the crit chart roll means; Your blow smashes your opponent's spine and Abdomen, tearing muscle and shatering bone so that your opponent falls to the ground in 2 seperate pieces. changed for realism--> Your blow destroys your opponent's shoulder joint almost totally, the arm hangs limply, a mass of tattered and pulpy flesh with protruding fragments of bone. By chance, one of the bone splinters has severed a major artery, and after a fraction of a second your opponent collapses, with blood pouring out of the ruins of his shoulder. Death from shock and blood loss is almost instantanious.

2 remaining drunks, impro weapons; Grum administers fear test for seeing their friend get clubbed in two!

-1st failed 78 and fails re-roll for drunkenness 82! Runs, Anruil gets bonus attack misses 44. Oh well thats one that runs out of the tavern screaming.

-2nd passes 6, normal combat using a pool cue, 1 attack, misses 65

Round 2

Anruil, 3 attacks, all missed

drunk, 1 attack, misses

Round 3

Anruil, 3 attacks, 1 hit, 2d, drunk at 4 wounds

Drunk, 1 attack, misses...

[Grumbaki]

The four men decended upon Sven. They were armed with a series of improvised weapons, free broken bottles to chairs and mugs. Sven grinned, it wouldn't help them. Sven rushed at them and lashed out. He reached out and grabbed one of them by the arm, stopping his strike in mid air. His fingers closed in and with a sickening crunch his bones broke under his steely grip. With his other hand he lashed out blindly, hitting a second man in the arm, though the blow didn't do nearly as much damage. Still the man took a step back, clutching at his arm. The third man struck him over the head with a bottle, which simply broke over his thick skull, doing no damage at all. Sven growled and grabbed the man, pulled him down to eye level, and then closed his hands around his shoulder and threw him away. His grip amost totally destroyed his shoulder join, leaving his arm to hand limply, a mass of pulpy flesh with protruding fragments of bone. By chance, one of th bone splintered and severed a major artery. After sven tossed him bloody started puring out of the ruin of his shoulder. Death from shock and blood loss was instantaneous. One of the two remaining men simply stood there, a look of awe, fear and anger written on his face. The other screamed out a cry of rage and leapt at Sven, comming in low and driving his broken bottle into Sven's gut. The bottle though barely broke through Sven's leather jerkin. The man though had brought himself down to Sven's eye level. Sven grabbed him by the tunic and headbutted him; there was a crunch as his skull shattered. Sven dropped him just in time to meet the charge of the last of the drunks. The man had pulled out a rusy dagger, he ran right towards Sven. Sven held out his arms and ran at him. He wrapped his arms around the men and squeezed. The drunk was lifted into the air and he started screaming. He dropped his dagger and there was a cracking sound as his back broke.

Sven dropped the screaming man onto the ground to join his companions. At his feet lay four men, ony two were still alive. One was lying on the ground, cripled and screaming, the other man whom had his arm broken was bleeding horribly from internal injuries and had passed out, it was unlikely that he would survive. Sven turned and faced Heort who had just rushed in from the latrines, his axe drawn...

[Drasanil]

With a joyous grin Anruil faced off against three of the inn's patrons, he casualy held a pair of chair legs in his hands and let out a good chuckle it had been a long time since he was in a decent bar fight! [glow=darkblue,2,300]"Talk 'bout my mom that way will ya!?"[/glow] the elf screamed has he through himself at the first drunk in his path, the first swipe from his chair leg easily missing it's mark, but while the drunk was busy dodging the first blow Anruil in one of those rare moment's of thought brought about the leg in his left hand smashing into the man's ribs causing to haul in pain. As the drunk rubbed his sore spot Anruil decided it was time to finaly take a prisonner and brought about the leg in his right hand, he had aimed for the head and didn't think hi blow was that strong but as usual he was prooved to be wrong when he saw the 'club' smash into the drunk's shoulder causing a mess of blood and shattered bone.

Hanz screamed and run for the exit as he saw his friend Gustav lying on the floor a bloody mess, yet Kurt seemingly more determined to avenge his fallen comrade took a wild swipe at the elf only to miss with his pool cue. For the next few seconds both elf and man faced off, and both were to drunk to land a blow...